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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219766">Hey. What?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Friday Night Funkin' Nonsense [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Friday Night Funkin' (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Family Guy (mentioned), Gen, Strong Language, crackfic, i guess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:27:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219766</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I can't get over the fact that BF just scats all the time. I think GF translates for him. Idiocy ensues.</p><p>This takes place before Pico's levels start. He's probably out of character but this is a crackfic!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Friday Night Funkin' Nonsense [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>284</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hey. What?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There they stood, yin and yang, the unstoppable force and the immovable object, staring daggers into each other across the platform. Green on blue. Ginger on also blue. <b>Top 10 Epic Rap Battles In History.</b> Boyfriend furrowed his brow in an intimidating snarl, his eyes narrowing. It was a thin facade for the fact that he was low-key shitting himself because the other guy had an uzi pointed directly at him, just, casually. Like it was a camera and he was vlogging or something. <i>What the fuck,</i> he thought, <i>I know this is Philly but damn.</i></p><p>Shortly to his right sat his smoking hot girlfriend. The night air was somehow not making her half-clothed body shudder, or maybe it was and he just couldn’t really tell. He was kind of more focussed on the gun. <i>Shit.</i> The gun in question, whose holder was glaring at him with the same intensity, twitched slightly like it just caught the scent of its next victim. Entering Pico's mind, it would be evident his malice was mutually charged by a willingness to end this man's entire career, alongside the fact that he just remembered Twitter stans exist.</p><p>He finally filled the tense silence, “Are we gonna start this shit or what.”</p><p>“Beep.” </p><p>A train passed by.</p><p>“... <i>What?</i>” Pico replied, lowering the gun slightly.</p><p>“Beep bo-bop skidoo beep.” BF grinned at him. Pico grimaced in complete and utter confusion, and stuck a finger in his ear to make sure he wasn’t going deaf or delirious.</p><p>“Can you repeat that?” He asked.</p><p>“Beep bo-bop skidoo beep.”</p><p>Reluctantly, GF got down from the speaker and made her way towards Pico, before whispering something in his ear. After a long moment of listening to GF's dulcet tones and regarding BF with general concern, the potency of the foul words that just came from BF's mouth was duly processed. Pico felt his anger metre ramp up to a number higher than prior. Maybe from around a six to a solid nine.</p><p>“Oh, yeah?” Pico said, “You think you’re cute?”</p><p>“Buup.”</p><p>“Yes,” GF answered for him.</p><p>“You think you’re so fucking cool, huh? You think you’re so fucking tough? You talk a lotta big game for someone without a gun in his hand,” Pico growled back.</p><p>BF was immediately reminded that he did not have a gun. He looked visibly shaken for a second, but remembered he wanted to look cool. In any regular event it absolutely would not have worked against Pico, but the overwhelming stupidity of this situation was not lost on him, and despite all logic telling him to respond otherwise, the perplexion he felt left him casually intimidated.</p><p>“Skidoo bap bo-bop beep.”</p><p>“He says that giant uzi you’re coddling must be compensating for something.” GF translated.</p><p>“Boo-bap beep.”</p><p>“A small peenus weenus, perhaps. Hey babe, nice roast.” GF gave BF finger guns as she made her way back to her throne of sound, while BF nodded to her matter-of-factly. Pico felt like he had finally gone insane and this was some fucked up cosmically-assigned nightmare designed to vex and haunt him. Is this more karma for being popular in high school? Is this because he drinks his O.J. directly from the bottle instead of pouring it into another cup, like a 'normal person'? Damnit, he put his pants on one leg at a time like anyone else. He didn't know how a non-dairy powdered creamer worked either, just like anyone else. What did he do to deserve this? He made a mental note to bring this up in his next therapy session.</p><p>“Oh yeah, Scatman? At least I don’t need a translator with teeth,” Pico snapped back, “And boobs, or whatever.” <i>Shit, teeth?</i> He thought to himself.</p><p>“Teeth?” GF asked quietly. It was the first thing Pico could think of.</p><p>“Yeah, they’d look great around my small <b>peenus weenu</b>-“</p><p>That was IT. BF snapped and threw the first thing he could grab at the other guy with precision and tenacity the likes of which had never been seen on this planet. About halfway to its destination, the air resistance caused it to flatten out, because the thing he had just grabbed and thrown was a newspaper. It fluttered daintily to the ground between them.</p><p>A train passed by.</p><p>“Okay...” Pico said after a shared, contemplative span of silence, “Are you, like, alright? Are you fine? Do you need water or anything? Are you mentally present?”</p><p>“Ba-boo bee doo bah?” BF ignored him and his own cringe-ass blunder, instead turning to GF.</p><p>“Oh, I’m okay honey, don’t worry. I know you got this.” GF answered with a soft and warm smile, betraying the fact that internally, she was freezing her ass off.</p><p>“Bawoo skeedo bap bo-bap?”</p><p>"Hello?" Pico interjected and was promptly ignored.

</p><p>“Totally. Same time as every time.” Her rear end had never been colder.</p><p>Pico watched listlessly, and perhaps with dawning horror. He and the weaponised newspaper suddenly felt very alike, and his mind returned to that school toilet room, watching the shitshow unfurl. This went on for about a minute until an uzi was lifted and a round was rattled out into the night sky. BF and GF threw themselves down in panic, before remembering Pico was there. They immediately and very visibly relaxed by a noteworthy degree, something that honestly made Pico a little upset.</p><p>“You finished?” Pico asked the surprised couple. Adding to his internal rage was the fact he knew he was missing several episodes of Family Guy for this.</p><p>“Waga baga bobo?” BF replied.</p><p>Pico looked at GF expectantly.</p><p>“Bogos binted?” BF continued.</p><p>“Oh, that wasn’t scat,” GF suddenly caught on to Pico’s confusion, “He’s just making sounds at you now.”</p><p>Pico stood, almost stunned, for a hot second, “Is — is he mocking me? Was it some kind of euphemism?” He genuinely wanted to know.</p><p>BF grinned and made a nasty little V-hand signal at him, because while he did not even know what euphemism meant, he just decided he was definitely doing it. Euphemizing. </p><p>A train passed by.</p><p>“Alright then,” Pico let out a deep exhale, before standing up straight and readying his gun and mic, “I’m going to start throwing sounds back at you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, bye bye!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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